8 Ways To Avoid The Dating Struggles Of 2017

This post actually took me forever and a day to write! Being a blogger/social media influencer means I tend to overshare just about every part of my life. However, I really like keeping the personal/romantic parts of my life pretty private. So, when it comes to writing posts on dating/relationship advice, it scares the crap out of me. But... that's also kind of exciting and because my blogger friends always push me to write about my thoughts on this topic, I push myself to step out of my comfortable bubble and share my thoughts and tips with you guys <3

Anyways, last week or so I shared with you my post: "8 Reasons Why Dating In 2017 Can Really Suck" and so this week I wanted to give you tips on how to combat those dating struggles! So if you agreed with that post and found yourself frustrated by the end, below are 8 Ways To Avoid The Dating Struggles Of 2017! 




  • Problem: Online dating is the new norm. The other day I was at a house party at a friends house and 6 out of the 7 people in our group had met the person they were currently talking to on an online dating site or app. I have 2 major problems with this (among the many). We live in a world of swipes - this leads us to always think there are so many other fish in the sea. Instead of people working on the problems in their relationship, it has become more and more common to give up and start all over. And also, it has become SO easy for people to cheat or talk to multiple people at once. 
  • Solution: Make your intentions clear with yourself and with the person you're talking to. If you think you're in it for the long term, let them know when you know. Don't go into relationships with the mindset that if this fails, there's plenty of other girls/guys on Tindr. 

  • Problem: Online dating is EXHAUSTING. No joke. Anyone that has been on a dating app can tell you that swiping, matching, chatting, and exchanging numbers gets draining so fast. There's also so many people out there, so many messages to go through, and so much planning involved. Also, sometimes there's so much time spent on a person that wasn't clear about their expectations or just someone fishy that seemed normal only in the beginning. Let's not even talk about how many times you'll be making plans with complete strangers and chickening out or having them bail at the last minute.
  • Solution: This one is kind of simple: limit yourself. Decide to dedicate only a specific amount of time a day to dating activities. Also limit yourself to how many people you message a day. This will help you feel less overwhelmed and leave you with more time to do things besides swipe. I would also just add in that making plans with people is so easy to do over text but following through on meeting a complete stranger can be super weird. Make sure you're ready to meet someone before agreeing to an in person date. If you're not, that's okay, just don't make plans to and then end up canceling at the last minute.
  • Problem: We date so much it messes us up mentally and emotionally. Each person that you invest feelings (especially emotional feelings) into will change you. Even if it is in the smallest of ways, that person with teach you something valuable (usually about yourself or what you want from a partner or relationship). If all of us have been hurt even just a little bit, we carry a little bit of resentment or emotional baggage or caution into our next relationships. 
  • Solution: Be choosy with the people you give your time and heart to. I think it's so great to get to know people and make friends, but before you emotionally or romantically invent your energy into someone, make sure they're a good person. I guess by good person, I mean someone who is honest, mature, looking for the same things as you, you know... a good person. You're beautiful, and smart, and hilarious, and so passionate about the things you love. Be with someone that sees all of that and makes you feel like you're a princess and not just any other girl.
  • ProblemBehavioral standards for what we'll accept are at an all time low.  My friends will gush over the smallest things that boys do for them. For example, texting to see how you are when you're sick or asking to walk you home. These are common etiquette that someone who is interested in you or you are seeing should be doing anyways. This isn't something that should put a specific person over everyone else. Do you remember what Noah did in the Notebook for the girl he loved or what Jack did for Rose? If a boy offers you his jacket when you're cold, that's what he's supposed to do not something that should be seen as AMAZING. Also, netflix and chill should just really not be the highest standard for a date. 
  • Solution: Hold yourself to a higher standard. Please think of all the amazing qualities you have, and don't accept any games or silly behaviors when it comes to how you're supposed to be treated. You're a princess, so don't accept anything less than a gentleman who wants to treat you like one. If a boy isn't texting you back all day until midnight, chances are he's not the gentleman you're looking for. Boys are pretty simple, if a boy likes you, it'll be pretty easy for you to tell. If he doesn't, it'll be even easier to tell. Try this: Just ask him. If you like a guy and feel totally confused about whether or not he feels the same way. Literally just ask him and get it over with so that if he doesn't you and him can both move on with your lives.
  • ProblemUnreal physical expectations are at an all time high. Between the 3-5 different apps everyone uses on their profile pictures and how much retouching is provided by mainstream media, it's really hard not to raise your standards and desire someone that's picture perfect. You miss out on so many great people judging them just based on their Instagram selfies.
  • Solution: Be confident in yourself who you are. Don't try to be something you're not for anyone other than yourself. Do what makes you the happiest. When it comes to other people, have reasonable standards and expectations. Everyone is human at the end of the day and I personally think the most attractive qualities in people aren't always physical qualities.
  • Problem: No one wants to show emotions or let down their guard anymore. People are so scared of actually letting someone know they like them or exposing their feelings or being vulnerable. We live in a world with the mindset of "I want you to want me" instead of "I want you". This leads to so many mind games being set into play. It also leads to neither person in the relationship wanting to admit they care more than the other person. Being heartless will never be the new black. 
  • Solution: Ugh, so this is probably my biggest frustration our of all of these. Instead of saying: "Do you want to come over?", try saying: "Hey, I'd love for you to come over because I really like spending time with you.". I know it's super scary putting yourself out there like that but to be honest, if the person is on the same page as you, they're not going to be put off or scared by this course of action. If you like someone, let them know. If you just want to date, let them know. If you're having a great time, let them know. Don't be afraid to open up and let your guard down once in a while.
  • Problem: It's so normal to want to date only for fun. I think dating should be fun because getting to know someone you're interested in and find attractive is fun. However, dating with the mindset of only having fun without many important topics being discussed leads to different expectations and conclusions coming forth after the honeymoon phase finally wears off. Personally, I think this leads to being immature and a lot of distrust and petty problems rising in the relationship. I also think one person in the relationship usually wants or can see a future while the other person is just trying to have fun and be simply entertained. 
  • Solution: Communicate. Talk. Be vocal from the start about your feelings, intentions, and goals. Ask important questions. Personally, I think dating for fun is a great way to meet a lot of cool people and get to learn SO much about yourself. However, I think there's a certain time in most people's lives where dating for fun kind of ends when you find someone you don't really ever want to lose.
  • ProblemHook-up culture is everywhere. It's become more and more common for one night stands and flings to be a thing. Physical intimacy isn't seen as big of a deal as it used to be. It devalues the deep connection and attachment being physical with someone can bring.
  • SolutionI think this is another one of those things that are different for every individual. If you don't find physical intimacy to be a big deal and it's casual for you, make that known from the start. If you find it to be a huge deal and something that ties you down to a person or makes you have a way deeper connection with them, be honest with yourself and your partner about it.
Soooo those are some tips and solutions that I hope help you with these common dating/relationship struggles that we all seem to be facing now a days. As always if you have any questions or comments, feel free to shoot me a message or leave a comment below :) 


Best,
Aani

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