read this when you feel you've failed


It's something that happens to the best of us.

It happened to JK Rowling when she was rejected by 12 publishers.

It happened to Jim Carrey when at his first comic stand-up he was booed off the stage.

It's happened to you, and me, and everyone we know.

However, whenever it happens, we feel so singled out. We feel like no one could have possibly gone through what we're going through. That life is oh-so-unfair and it's just that way to us. Oh darling, that couldn't be further from the truth.

The truth is, we need failure. We need it to grow. We need it to show us what we value most. We need it to pull the rug from under our feet so that we fall. And gosh-darn it, we fall so hard sometimes.

I think about the first time I studied so hard for a science test, like all week and every night. I gave it my all, and still, when I got my result, it was heartbreaking. I had tried my best. I had put in so much effort. How could I fail?

What took me some time to realize was that this was life pulling that rug out from under me again.

Here she knew I needed to grow and realize something that I had never known before.

Maybe it was the fact that I hated science but wanted so badly to show my family and community that I was really a stero-typical brown girl who could understand science and math and all that logic stuff that never came naturally to me.

Other times I failed and I realized even bigger lessons. Each time I got pushed down from life I learned something that I couldn't have without failure.

I've always said I wanted to learn life's lessons through living life and not just through a self-help book or through advice from someone older/wiser.

But holy crap, life really knows how to teach me a lesson.

And this is okay.

We're only human. We should be able to dwell in these feelings of failure and sadness and remorse.

It's okay.

Take your time right now. Process the feelings you have in you and feel them fully. Please don't listen to Pinterest quotes that tell you to "move on ASAP" or "red lipstick fixes everything". Red lipstick with tear filled eyes does no one any good.

Please don't sprint into the next thing without taking time to process things. You deserve that much.

I have failure everyday. Whether it's in the shape of a parking ticket, spilling food on my new blouse, or not being on time. I know this, and I live with it. It doesn't startle me anymore because I know failure comes with risks. If I wasn't taking risks and putting everything I have on the line on the daily, I wouldn't be impacted by failure.

What nobody tells you is that the road to success isn't some walk on the beach. It's actually an upwards hike with rainstorms and winds that'll come to knock you down repeatedly and make you question everything you ever believed to be true. But again, it's up to you to stand up each time. Learn a lesson from each fall. And trust me, girl, each time you stand up you'll be stronger than the last, you'll be more self aware, and you'll be more badass.

With all the love you need right now,

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